Dealing with tantrums from tired toddlers can be challenging for any family. Our readers have shared helpful tips to manage these situations effectively and ensure everyone gets the rest they need. Keep reading to discover some valuable strategies.
Mary Vaughn
Certified pediatric sleep consultant and mother of three, Mary Vaughn, provides expert advice on handling toddler tantrums.
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Here are some valuable tips for managing toddler bedtime tantrums:
- Establish a consistent bedtime routine to help your toddler know what to expect.
- Ensure your toddler is getting enough rest during the day to prevent overtiredness at bedtime.
- Stay calm and patient during tantrums, as getting frustrated will only escalate the situation.
- Offer comfort and reassurance to your toddler, as they may be feeling overwhelmed or scared.
- Set boundaries and stick to them, but also be willing to compromise when necessary.
By implementing these strategies, you can help your toddler develop healthy sleep habits and minimize bedtime tantrums.
Externalize the Rules Around Bedtime
Bedtime tantrums often occur when toddlers are looking for control and boundaries. Staying calm, offering choices during a tantrum, and using tools like an OK to Wake clock can help smoothen bedtime routines.
It is important to establish a consistent bedtime routine to help children wind down and prepare for sleep. This could include activities such as reading a bedtime story, taking a warm bath, or listening to calming music. By following the same routine each night, children will learn to associate these activities with bedtime, making it easier for them to fall asleep.
Additionally, it’s helpful to create a soothing sleep environment by ensuring the room is dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Providing a cozy blanket and favorite stuffed animal can also help children feel safe and secure as they drift off to sleep.
Consistency is key when it comes to bedtime. By setting and sticking to a consistent bedtime every night, children will learn to anticipate when it’s time for sleep and will be more likely to cooperate without putting up a fight.
Remember, every child is different, so it’s important to be patient and understanding as you establish a bedtime routine that works best for your family. By setting realistic expectations and following a consistent bedtime routine, you can help prevent bedtime tantrums and ensure a peaceful night’s sleep for everyone involved.
Be Strict with the Routine
Creating a bedtime routine with humor and presence can minimize tantrums and make bedtime enjoyable for both parent and child.
Two Steps to Dissipating Tantrums
Effective ways to calm tantrums include activities like hugging, reading books, singing, and tickling. Maintaining a positive environment before sleep can also help ease tantrums.
Arvie Narido
Julie Ann Ensomo
Another way to help dissipate tantrums is to engage in deep breathing exercises with the child. This can help them regulate their emotions and calm down. Additionally, offering a favorite toy or comfort item can provide a sense of security during a tantrum.
It is important to remain patient and understanding during tantrums, as children may not always have the words to express their feelings. By providing comfort and support, caregivers can help children navigate their emotions in a healthy way.
Four Tantrum Management Tips
Understanding the reasons behind tantrums, telling engaging stories, allowing children to express their emotions, and sharing sleep-related tales can help in managing bedtime challenges.
Explore the causes of toddler bedtime tantrums, how to respond to night tantrums, tips for preventing bedtime meltdowns, and knowing when to seek help for sleep issues.
January 12, 2023
Discover how to deal with toddler bedtime tantrums, respond to tantrums, recognize sleep issues, and more in this comprehensive guide.
Additional Tips for Managing Toddler Bedtime Tantrums:
- Establish a consistent bedtime routine to help children feel secure and prepared for sleep.
- Provide a calm and soothing environment in the bedroom to promote relaxation.
- Offer comfort and reassurance to your child if they are experiencing fear or anxiety at bedtime.
- Avoid stimulating activities or screens before bedtime, as they can interfere with a child’s ability to fall asleep peacefully.
What are bedtime tantrums?
Bedtime tantrums are a way for toddlers to express overwhelming emotions and communicate their feelings. Understanding the reasons behind tantrums can help in managing and reducing them over time.
Temper tantrums can be an indicator of your child’s mental health. If your child experiences extreme, aggressive, or prolonged tantrums, seeking additional support is advisable. Take our free online assessment for children aged 2-6 to determine if your child’s tantrums are normal or require further assistance. Click here to take the assessment.
What causes bedtime tantrums?

Tantrums, including at bedtime, usually occur during transitions or when a child is tired, hungry, or overstimulated.
Transition and tiredness factors at bedtime can trigger sleep tantrums. Common triggers include being alone in the room, lack of routine, older siblings staying up, nightmares, or feeling unwell.
Understanding your child’s emotions can help manage bedtime tantrums by addressing their need to express feelings.
Are bedtime tantrums normal?
Bedtime tantrums are common, especially in preschoolers. As children grow, tantrums should decrease. It is important for parents to remain calm and consistent when dealing with bedtime tantrums. Establishing a bedtime routine can help prevent tantrums by creating a sense of predictability and security for the child. Additionally, ensuring that the child is well-rested and not overtired can also help reduce bedtime tantrums. If bedtime tantrums persist or worsen, it may be helpful to consult with a healthcare provider or child development specialist for further guidance.
Other strategies to deal with toddler bedtime tantrums include:
- Consistent bedtime routine: Establishing a consistent bedtime routine can help signal to your child that it’s time to wind down and go to sleep.
- Positive reinforcement: Praise your child for good behavior at bedtime to encourage them to continue behaving well.
- Avoiding stimulating activities before bedtime: Limit screen time and active play close to bedtime to help your child calm down before going to sleep.
- Offering comfort: If your child is upset, offer comfort in the form of a hug or soothing words to help them feel secure.
- Seeking professional help: If bedtime tantrums are persistent and affecting your child’s sleep, consider seeking advice from a pediatrician or child psychologist.
Bedtime meltdowns can be tough for both parents and children. It’s important to remember that tantrums are a normal part of child development and are usually a way for children to express their emotions when they don’t have the words to do so.
When it comes to bedtime meltdowns, experts recommend staying calm and not giving in to your child’s demands. Ignoring the meltdown can help prevent reinforcing negative behavior and can teach your child to self-regulate their emotions.
Some strategies you can use when your child is experiencing a bedtime meltdown include:
- Remaining calm and using a soothing voice
- Providing a consistent bedtime routine
- Offering comfort and reassurance without giving in to demands
- Ignoring the tantrum if it is safe to do so
Remember, it’s important to address any underlying reasons for the bedtime meltdown, such as overtiredness or anxiety. If bedtime meltdowns are persistent and affecting your child’s sleep, consider consulting with a child psychologist or pediatrician for further support and guidance.
What shouldn’t parents do when their toddler is screaming at bedtime?
Preventing toddler bedtime tantrums requires a predictable and consistent bedtime routine. Good sleep habits and calming activities can make it easier for your child to fall asleep.
How can you prevent toddler bedtime tantrums?
The increase in screen time and disrupted routines due to the COVID-19 pandemic has led to more tantrums. Making time for movement and screen breaks can help reduce tantrums.
Little Otter Advisor, Dr. Petra Steinbuchel, suggests being intentional about movement and taking screen breaks. Dancing at home throughout the day and having family dinners can help prevent separation anxiety and bedtime tantrums.
How do bedtime tantrums relate to childhood insomnia?
Childhood insomnia involves difficulties in going to bed, falling asleep, or staying asleep. Tantrums can be a sign of insomnia, indicating possible mental health challenges in children. It is crucial to pay attention to sleep issues and seek help when needed.
Read more about childhood insomnia in this comprehensive blog.
Should I worry about night terrors?
Night terrors are generally not harmful and not linked to mental health disorders in children. If you notice specific symptoms like drooling, jerking, episodes lasting over 30 minutes, or significant family stress, consult your pediatrician.
When should you worry about bedtime tantrums?
Despite a consistent bedtime routine and good sleep habits, some children may still experience bedtime tantrums. Frequent, prolonged, or aggressive tantrums could indicate underlying distress. Early detection and support can help your child adhere to a suitable bedtime routine.
It is important to pay attention to the frequency and intensity of bedtime tantrums. If your child is having tantrums every night or if they are becoming more intense and aggressive, it may be a sign that something is wrong. These could be indicators of underlying emotional or behavioral issues that need to be addressed.
Some common reasons for bedtime tantrums include anxiety, fear of separation, overstimulation, or even physical discomfort. By addressing the root cause of the tantrums, you can help your child overcome their bedtime challenges and establish a peaceful bedtime routine.
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