Is your child having a hard time adjusting to school even after being back for a while? Discover ways to assist your child and effectively communicate with the school to address these challenges.
Identify the reasons behind your child’s struggles in school – it could be related to sensory issues, social difficulties, or other factors. Have a conversation with your child to understand what is troubling them.
- Utilize a mind map to help your child articulate their emotions
- Review their schedule or school layout and evaluate different aspects
Stay in contact with the school to tackle your child’s difficulties and make necessary adjustments. Identify a key contact person and set up a meeting to discuss the situation and possible solutions.
Support your child at home by engaging in activities like creating a worry monster or journal to assist them in managing their emotions. Implement strategies to lessen stress and feelings of being overwhelmed for your child.
Support your child to explain why they’re struggling
It is important to create a safe and supportive environment for your child to be able to express why they are struggling. Encourage open communication and active listening to understand their feelings and concerns. Help them identify any challenges they are facing and offer your reassurance and guidance.
Using small objects as transition items can also be helpful in reminding your child of your care and support throughout the day. These objects can serve as tangible reminders of your presence, love, and encouragement, helping your child feel more secure and connected to you.
Talk to the school
If you need assistance and advice on family-related matters, FamilyLine offers free emotional support services to lend a helping hand.
Things you can do at home to support your child
Create a mind map
Use a RAG (red, amber, green) rating
Make a worry monster
Help your child empty their bucket
Find or make a matching object for you and your child
Ideas for spending time with a child when there’s ‘nothing to do’
Tips for managing the cost of going to school
Finding the right words: speaking confidently & sensitively about SEND
Talking to children and young people about parental mental health
What I wish I knew as a first-time parent
Making sense of SEND language – a glossary
Emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) – supporting a child or young person who can’t go to school
Spending time with a child or young person on a budget
Tips to get children reading
Online safety for children and young people
Supporting your teenager’s mental health
How to get active as a family – and keep the habit going
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Starting at a new service can be an emotional experience for children. Separation from family or caregivers may be challenging.
Support your child during the settling period, be prepared for tears and meltdowns.
Orientation
Orientation Visit
- Allow the child to explore the new surroundings
- Build relationships with educators and peers
- Discuss interests, routines, and traditions
- Obtain a family handbook for essential information
- Attend orientation sessions to familiarize yourself with the facility
Prepare for Separation
- Leave the child with relatives or friends for a few hours
- Speak positively about the childcare facility
- Start with shorter days and gradually extend them
- Reassure the child and say goodbye confidently
- Arrive early to allow time for goodbyes
- Establish a goodbye routine to ease separation anxiety
Comfort and Encourage
- Ask the child to bring a favorite toy
- Identify a preferred educator for drop-off
- Spend time on a favorite activity before leaving
- Inform educators about comforting strategies
- Organize playdates outside the facility to help the child adjust
How can your child’s educators help them settle?
Educators can aid in the settling process by providing updates and information. Maintain open communication with nursery staff.
In addition to updates and communication, educators can help children settle by creating a welcoming and safe environment. Encouraging children to express their feelings and emotions can also help them adjust to their new surroundings. Building positive relationships with children and their families is key in supporting a smooth transition.
Here are some additional tips for reconnecting with your child at the end of the day:
- Ask open-ended questions about their day to show interest and encourage conversation.
- Engage in a shared activity together, such as coloring, reading a book, or playing a game.
- Provide physical affection, such as hugs and cuddles, to show your love and support.
- Listen actively and validate your child’s feelings to help them feel understood and accepted.
- Establish a daily routine or ritual, such as sharing highs and lows of the day during dinner, to create a sense of security and connection.
Remember, the key is to be present and attentive to your child’s needs to strengthen your relationship and ensure a positive end to the day.
First-day fear
The first day can be emotional for both parent and child. Patience is key as settling in takes time.
It is normal for both parents and their children to feel nervous or anxious on the first day. To help ease these feelings, it’s important to talk openly about any concerns and reassure each other that it’s okay to feel this way. Remember that it’s a big adjustment for everyone involved, and it may take some time to get used to the new routine.
One way to make the first day easier is to plan ahead. Pack familiar comfort items, such as a favorite toy or blanket, in your child’s bag to help them feel more at ease. It can also be helpful to establish a goodbye routine, such as a special hug or kiss, to provide a sense of security before leaving.
Remember to be patient with both yourself and your child as you navigate this new experience. With time and support, the first-day jitters will soon fade, and your child will start to feel more comfortable in their new environment.
A change in tactics
Bring comforting items for the second day. Extend settling sessions before full-time enrollment.
My top tips for settling in:
Express concerns and ask questions. Maintain reasonable expectations and trust the nursery staff.
Children might get upset, but it’s part of the adjustment process. Stay calm to reassure your child.
Have faith in the nursery’s expertise in aiding your child’s adjustment and development.
Children pick up on your emotions, so staying positive helps them feel secure.
Tips and recommendations from nursery staff:
Routine and structure help
Establishing meal and activity times can create a sense of routine and security for your child. This structure can help them feel more secure and know what to expect throughout the day. Consistency in mealtimes can also help regulate their hunger cues and prevent snacking on unhealthy foods. Similarly, setting regular times for activities such as playtime, reading, and bedtime can help establish a sense of predictability and comfort for your child. Overall, incorporating routine and structure into your child’s daily schedule can help promote healthy development and well-being.
Talk about your child’s interests
Provide the nursery with information about your child’s preferences. Bring comfort items from home.
Keep in touch
Parents can check in on their child. Nurseries are usually available for calls to alleviate parental concerns.
“Every child is unique, and we collaborate closely with parents to meet their needs and expectations for a smooth transition. Before your child starts, we gather information to understand how we can help each family. This is a great opportunity for parents to bond with their child’s key worker and build trust, which positively impacts the settling process and establishes a long-lasting partnership.” – Gemma, nursery manager, Bright Horizons nursery
If you found this article helpful, explore more early childcare resources in our Family Resource Zone!
Responsive settling is a gentle approach to aid your baby in sleeping. Babies need to learn to fall asleep independently.
Babies under 6 months may need more assistance to sleep. It’s common for young babies to fall asleep while nursing or feeding. Try feeding them after they wake up to help them learn to sleep on their own.
How do I know my baby is tired?
Babies, like adults, display signs of tiredness. Being overly tired can make it difficult for babies to settle. Crying indicates exhaustion.
Look for signs that your baby is ready for sleep:
- yawning
- jerky arm or leg movements
- clenched fists or sucking fingers
- facial grimaces or eye rubbing
- difficulty focusing or going cross-eyed
- red eyebrows
- arching their back
Additional signs that an older baby is ready for sleep include:
- tugging at ears
- clumsiness
- seeking more attention
- fussiness during feeding or eating
- rubbing eyes
- being less interested in toys or activities
What should I do before I settle my baby?
Ensure your baby:
- is not hungry or thirsty
- has a dry diaper
- is calm
- is appropriately dressed — not too hot or cold
Offer cuddles to your baby if needed. Consider using a swaddle or sleeping bag.
Always follow safe sleep guidelines and place your baby on their back to sleep.
How can I settle my young baby?
Your baby must feel secure and relaxed to fall asleep. Respond to their cues to help them settle.
Here are methods to help settle your baby.
Settling in arms (up to 3 months)
This approach is effective for young babies and those struggling to settle.
- Hold your baby and gently rock them until calm
- Place your baby in their cot on their back
- You may need to comfort them until they fall asleep
- If they become upset in the cot, soothe them until calm
- If distress persists, revert to the first step
Hands on settling (3 to 6 months)
For babies aged 3 to 6 months, establish a settling routine. Change their diaper, read to them, cuddle them, and then try hands-on settling.
- Place your baby in their cot on their back while awake
- Observe and respond to your baby’s cues
- If calm, allow them to settle themselves
- If crying begins, comfort your baby with reassuring touch
- Maintain contact until they fall asleep
To aid settling, you can also:
- shush softly
- speak in soothing tones
- offer gentle reassurances
- pat rhythmically on their body or the mattress
- gently stroke their head, arm, or leg
- rock the cot gently
You might sit by the cot and pat through the railings.
If you feel overwhelmed or your baby isn’t calming down, take a break and try a different approach.
How do I settle my baby aged over 6 months?
Comfort settling
Comfort settling, or controlled comforting, can be helpful for babies 6 months and older. This method assists babies in learning to fall asleep independently.
- Begin with your usual pre-sleep routine
- Place your baby in their cot, on their back, and signal sleep time
- Pat or shush briefly to calm them before leaving
- Make sure to be in close proximity to keep an eye on your little one.
Your baby’s babbling, whining, short cries, and movements are all part of the settling process and are completely normal.
If the crying varies, give your baby some time to calm themselves down. If the crying intensifies, offer them comfort in their crib.
If this does not work, try again later or consider using hands-on settling or a different approach.
Transition settling
Transition settling, also known as ‘camping out,’ is recommended for babies older than 6 months. Gradually help your baby learn to fall asleep on their own while providing reassurance from a distance. This method is different from comfort settling, where you comfort your baby and then leave the room.
Responsive settling tips for all ages
Understand the sleep patterns of everyone, transitioning between light and deep sleep. Teaching your baby to settle independently may prevent them from waking up too early during light sleep.
- Recognize the signs that your baby is tired.
- Younger babies require more sleep and tend to get tired quickly.
- A dark and quiet sleep environment promotes better sleep.
- Stay patient, flexible, and consistent in helping your baby develop good sleep habits.
- Interpret your baby’s cries and respond calmly to help them relax.
- Stick to the same settling technique to help your baby practice their new skills.
- Establish a consistent sleep routine that works for your family.
Resources and support
Speak to a maternal child health nurse
Get in touch with Pregnancy, Birth, and Baby for advice from a maternal child health nurse at 1800 882 436 or through a video call. They are available 7 days a week from 7 am to midnight (AET).